I like to say that over the years, I've been so many different Sylvies. My younger self would have thought a lot of those people were dumb, but I love them all. One person that I need to introduce you to is pre-kids Sylvie. And not the one you met in my last few posts. This is pre-kids Sylvie who really wanted kids with all of her heart. I was her for a long time. If reading about infertility triggers you, you may want to stop reading. Because I know it sure as hell triggered this version of Sylvie. The road to finally meeting my girls was a bumpy one, and I see now that some wisdom came from it, but I warn you - if you went back in time and told pre-kids Sylvie that everything happens for a reason, she would punch you in the face. Coincidentally, pre-kids Sylvie is currently freaking out over the kind of mom that 2018 Sylvie has become because she is doing all the things she vowed she would never do. I wish we each had some words of wisdom for each other, but we don't and I take comfort in the fact that all versions of me have always done the best they could. Although this was an incredibly stressful period of my life where I worried obsessively, it did lead me to learning how to take better care of myself in lots of ways, even if it was out of desperation. I started eating better, exercising and trying to choose products for my body and home that weren't harmful. As you can imagine, lip balm was #1 on the list of beauty products that needed a natural substitute and there were actually a few already out there. Unfortunately they weren't cutting it for my inner 12 year old who was looking for flavours that were a bit more fun. I'd find something interesting every once in a while (like this one time in Germany) but this girl needed a steady and reliable supply that didn't require a transatlantic flight! But that is a new chapter for another day (and by that, I mean tomorrow). Do you feel you've lived a few different lives? And would there be fist-fights if all those previous versions of you met?